#i also keep like. forgetting tumblr exists. whoops!!

[bright-and-burning]

i prescribe heavily to what my fave art prof called kirby theory (you can only exhale ie create art for so long before you have to inhale ie consume [tho i hate to use that phrase] art to then exhale again) and i think january is becoming a big inhale month

[supernovacase]

So, y'all, I've been so stressed lately that I can't think straight

[a-froger-epic]

What are your top 5 favorite angst moments in fics by other people

Thanks for resending the ask! The original one seems to be stuck in Tumblr limbo.

This was so hard. I literally just spent 45min going through my bookmarks and I could point you to some people's entire fic catalogues or entire fics without being able to pic a single scene in particular because they have so much delicious angst. (Yeah, I'm looking at you @aboutnothingness and @freddieofhearts and @i-lay-my-life-before-queen's Omegaverse Froger, or also @immistermercury's Jimercury ballet!Freddie epic and really several oneshots by some of my favourite authors in their entirety.)

But. I had to choose. So here are, in no particular order, some scenes:

---

Princes of the Universe by @tikiniki

Sci-fi AU. John saves Prince Freddie's life. 😰

Then, through the screams and gunfire, John heard Roger’s voice.

“John, Freddie! Watch out!”

And John spun around, just in time to see Roger throw himself towards Kassius, Kassius who had his gun raised and aimed at Freddie’s back.

His breath caught in John’s chest. Roger wouldn’t be fast enough.

He wasn’t.

The release of the bullet from Kassius’s gun disappeared in the rest of the noise. John acted on instinct.

He was barely conscious of moving at all. He barely noticed shoving Freddie to the side as hard as he could. He didn’t hear the surprised outcry leaving Freddie’s mouth.

But he felt it. Felt when the bullet pierced his chest.

The force of the bullet made him stumble back. He tried to draw a breath, tried to make a sound, but all was white-hot pain. The next second the guards were upon them. John was shoved in the chaos, his knees buckling beneath his weight.

Unable to catch himself, he fell over the edge of the pool.

Just before he breached the surface, he heard it.

The sound of voices crying out his name.

He smiled as he hit the water.

---

Aftercare by @bisexualroger

Freddie got mugged. 🥺

There’s an alien quality to the mirror, despite the fact that Freddie uses it every day and has done for months now. Perhaps it’s not the object itself that’s unfamiliar, but rather what it’s reflecting, the offending image subsequently contaminating the rest of the room with its strangeness. Lucky for him though; if the face in front of him registered as his own it might be too much for him to handle. Today’s been difficult enough without having to fully acknowledge the physical consequences of his earlier misfortune.

Freddie leans closer to the glass. The sight makes his lip tremble and his hands shake, but he swallows down his distress and reminds himself to view it objectively. It’s not his face, just a problem that needs to be fixed.

Taking another deep breath he tries again to go in with the cotton wool pad. Slippery with alcohol the cheap fabric desperately wants to slide out of his hand, but he keeps his grip steady as he brings it to his face. Immediately though the burning sting has him wincing. He tries to hold his nerve but the pain only intensifies, making his eyes prickle so he can no longer see what he’s doing. With a stifled cry of frustration he tosses the wool down into the sink and slides to the floor.

Once there his first instinct is to curl in on himself, but the pain in his ribs prevents him from doing so, which only makes matters worse. He’s been at this for fifteen bloody minutes, and much as he wants to shout and rage at the unfairness of it all his anger is infuriatingly manifesting itself through tears rather than determination. For goodness sake all he wants to do is have a hot shower and forget the entirety of this awful day, but he can’t until he’s dealt with this. It’s so agonisingly unjust.

---

The Path of Nevermore by @plainxte

Things are complicated. *sings* Give me one night only, one night only... 😭

"Yeah. I should probably head out," Roger said, looking around him. He was sure there was somewhere that he had promised to be that day.

"Please, Rog," Freddie said. "Don't go. Don't leave me alone. I mean. Don't send me to the path," Freddie said.

Roger turned to him with a smile. It quickly faded when he studied the look on Freddie's face: he was completely serious, and there was no hint of amusement in his eyes. He meant it, Roger realised. When Freddie said nothing more, just continued to look at him, it finally hit him what Freddie was saying. The seriousness of what he was asking.

"Of course I won't leave you," Roger whispered. "You know that. I wouldn't. But you know I can't, I can't – "

Freddie carefully lifted one hand, putting it hesitantly on his cheek, only just touching. His fingertips ghosted over Roger's cheekbone. "I know," he said. "And that's not what I meant. And I can't, either. But just for now. Please don't go. Please."

Roger took a breath. His thoughts were getting no clearer; if anything, his whole head seemed to be in a fog. He wasn't thinking; he couldn't think. He could only nod. Freddie leaned closer, and Roger closed his eyes. After what seemed like an age, he felt soft lips touch his. He reached up his own hand to Freddie's face, skimming over his jaw to come to a rest in his hair.

"And about time, too," he breathed.

---

Sobering Up by... oh whoops, it seems their tumblr was deleted or changed names. Well, nevermind, I still love this fic so much.

Roger and Freddie don't know how to deal. 💔

They lie there afterwards, stewing in a pregnant silence. Normally, sex put Roger right to sleep but this… he was unable to wrap his head around any of it.

He rolled over to lie on his stomach away from Freddie. He took a pillow and clenched it tightly in his arms, pressing his face deeply into it. Some animal instinct was telling him if he squeezed hard enough then the painful sickening swirl of emotions in his chest might ebb away.

Freddie softly cleared his throat. “Rog,”

“Hm?” Roger feigned sleepiness. He didn’t feel like having any kind of pillow talk.

“What…” Freddie faltered. “What do you think the future has in store for us?” Roger felt his heart seize up.

“What’d you mean ‘us’?” His voice was muffled in his pillow, but it didn’t mask the cracking on the last syllable. He heard Freddie make a sharp intake of breath.

“Queen.” He said. “What do you think we’ll be like in the future? D’you think we’ll make it?”

Roger was quiet at first. Freddie wasn’t the type to avoid the elephant in the room like this.

“Dunno,” Roger sighed, still clinging tightly to his pillow. “But I won’t stick around if there are better places to be.”

“Are there better places to be?” Freddie’s feigned curiosity did nothing to hide the anxiety in his voice. And it dawned on Roger that they weren’t going to talk about the sex. They were never going to talk about it. It had happened and that was all. It was too big, much too big, for either of them to face. This was Freddie’s way of asking if Roger was okay with that.

Roger didn’t exactly feel relief at this revelation. Somehow he felt like he had given Freddie a much more intimate part of himself than he had given any other partner. And the seriousness of that weighed heavily on him. Nothing would be the same for him again. But it had to be.

---

On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves by @quirkysubject

Freddie falls in a puddle and can't get up (also this scene is way too long to quote all of it, but like THIS WHOLE SCENE MAN 😭💕)

“Jesus, Fred, are you alright?” Hands are on his back, his shoulders, trying to urge him up. Oh, how Freddie wishes Roger would just leave him alone (liar, the warm and tiny and inextinguishable gleam of hope inside him whispers).

“Fine,” he mumbles as he lies face down in the mud, waiting, praying for the earth to swallow him up.

“Freddie, come on, get up.” The hands tug a little harder. And then, when Freddie just shakes his head, Roger’s hands slide under his armpits, and he is hauled upright with a frustrated, “What the hell’s the matter with you?”

It’s this that does it. All ability to contain himself evaporates.

“I hate this so much!”

The words explode out of him. He can hear how his voice sounds, shrill, pathetic, whiny. Useless. But he can’t stop himself. “I hate everything about this. My ankle hurts and my arm hurts and I want proper tea with milk, and a bath, and my bed, and Tom and Jerry, and a slice of toast that is actually toasted and I… I just want to go home.”

It’s a small mercy that he can blame any wetness on his cheeks on the rain. Not that it will do him much good. He is throwing a tantrum at the worst possible moment, and Roger is going to do what he always does when Freddie is being unreasonable - walk out, have a smoke, come back an hour or two later when the storm has blown over.

Only if he leaves now, Freddie will melt into the ground and never come up again.

---

A special mention goes to a Doctor Who fic which is probably my favourite angsty fic of all time, because even though I'm not active in the Who fandom right now, I'm still Doctor/Master trash. And Locked in Orbit by @nicolauda (I think this is yours? Correct me if wrong) is one of the best goddamn pieces of writing with that ship that exist for me.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #401

“my love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses”

Do you typically do your makeup the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? IF I wear makeup, it's essentially always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Yesterday with Mom. We were trying to find the best deal on Eco Earth, a substrate we're getting for Venus. What was the last really good book you read, and what was it about? If we're talking REALLY good book, then The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. In short summary, it's a dystopian future novel where women are now basically just objects used only for repopulation, even having their names stripped from them. They follow very strict rules as society has returned to horrible misogyny. As a woman, the "oh my god, this is possible" aspect of it is terrifying, and it causes such a sense of disgust and urge to ensure women rights always continue to be fought for. Do you feel safe in your country? For the most part, I'd say. I guess. There are places I'd feel safer, though. How many meals do you eat a day? Three. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No, but I was supposed to my senior year in high school; the seniors at my dance studio were always welcome to do a solo in celebration. Mine was a modern dance to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson, wanting to tell a story about depression and how being medicated could feel, but I eventually decided like halfway through learning the choreography that I was just too nervous to do a solo. Have you ever sung a solo? No. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Do you own a designer purse? Definitely not. I'm not wasting that much money on something like that. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Apparently, Jason and I had a baby in high school even though I was obviously never pregnant. To my knowledge, it was started by his ex. Who is now a good friend of mine lmaooo. Life is funny. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up? Pokemon, of course. Would you ever have an affair? Nope. Would you ever have a one night stand? Nope. Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Legalize it, but treat it similarly to alcohol in that driving under the influence is illegal and punishable, and I believe you should be of a certain age. How about abortion? I am pro-choice. I was pro-life most of my own life, but now I am very firm about a mother being able to choose if she wants to endure a pregnancy or not. Like, that is a MASSIVE life event that almost inevitably changes - and sometimes traumatizes - people. I do believe a fetus is its own body and not part of the mother's, but rather in the mother's, but the belief that a woman decides what she wants in her body is her choice, too. I'm not very fond of people treating abortion as a simple, regular form of birth control, like it's nothing but an "lol whoops," but I still believe it is ultimately her decision, and she should always be free of judgment for doing what is best for her. Do you wear skirts or dresses more often? Neither. I wouldn't dare wear a skirt more so, though. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? There should always be an expected minimum, imo, unless the person was truly, sincerely, genuinely fucking awful. Waiters do not have an easy job, fight me about it, and they're just trying to survive while putting on a happy, jovial face, all the while dealing with hungry people who can be such assholes. I believe the actual tip should relate to actual service, but again, give them something. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? One, absolutely. The other would take a shitload of consideration and proper communication on his part. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No, because I don't like coffee. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? IF I had a job, I'd like to build a friendship with those I have to engage with almost every day. What is something you frequently forget? Dates, ages, names, what I was about to do five seconds before I forgot... Pretty much everything. My memory is frightfully poor. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In my bed. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Both; my parents split when I was somewhere around 17, though, but I'd say there wasn't much more "raising" to do at that age. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, why? No. Have you ever plagiarized someone else's work? Hell no. What's your most-used mode of transportation? My mom's car. Have you ever taught someone else a useful skill? Not to my recollection. Does seeing everyone else's 'perfect lives' posted on social media ever bring you down or affect how you feel about yourself? It actually does, honestly. Not ALWAYS, but if I'm being honest, it does most of the time. I've contemplated deleting Facebook for that reason, but with is also comes things that make me happy, and I think I'd feel even more isolated without it. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? This is SO impossible for me to answer. I loooove Hostess and Little Debbie treats. I want to say honeybuns, but I also love those chocolate cupcakes with the white swirls on top, as well as Twinkies. Very few exist that I don't like. Do you/your family buy loafs from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? We just buy bagged bread. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? My APAP mask is definitively WORKING!!!!! :') Mom got an app that connects to the machine via Bluetooth that monitors the effectiveness of the mask, evaluating many factors of your sleep, and it's detecting a definite decrease in disruptive behaviors or something like that. It is so, SO encouraging to know that. ^And, the worst? Hm. Oh, probably some news on something serious a good friend is going through, but I don't feel it's my right to disclose what. It's just a very worrying and potentially dangerous issue that I wish I could help her with. Would you rather receive (or give) flowers, chocolates or jewelry? I'd appreciate any, but my fat ass is drawn to the chocolate, ha ha. What *I* would give would vary depending on what the person liked. How do you feel about coconut? Smells lovely, but is otherwise gross. ^ Ever cracked one open? No, but omg I've always wanted to, haha. What’s the best thing about being your gender? I guess the fact it's more "normal" and "accepted" to show our emotions. Fuck that generalization, though. I don't give a shit what your gender is, you experiencing emotions is NORMAL and welcomed to be expressed. ^ And the worst thing? The ability to be raped and impregnated by it. Do you do your part to save the earth? I don't do nearly enough. :/ We recycle, but that's about it. Well, none of us DARE to litter either, but I still don't feel like it's as much as the earth deserves from its denizens. Who do you think should have their portrait on a bill? I don't know or care. Why did you last feel exhausted? Yesterday was my niece's birthday, and I spent essentially ALL day playing with her and her brother. I have a very limited battery when it comes to kids, and I was running on empty for hours. My anxiety was SO high and I really needed a break from them, but they're too young to really understand that Aunt Britt can only socially run for so long before I'm completely burnt out, and TRUST ME, I was there for sure. I didn't want them to think they did something wrong, you know? I just had to keep going. I slept like a baby last night though for sure, haha. Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? Wow, no. Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? No. Who did you last worry about and why? Sara for health reasons. Are you currently looking for a new place to live? Not actively, but Mom and I definitely want to move. We feel very out-of-place here in the suburbs. Which would you prefer as a view; mountains or the sea? Mountains. Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) Yes. I canNOT play games with a trackpad. Do you apologize a lot? Extremely excessively. When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? In that case, probably the venue. Being a photography buff, I want a place I think is really pretty to have pictures taken. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting, my weight, and being hot. Do you have anything planned for the summer? Nope, and that's fine with me. I'd rather stay inside away from the heat. Who usually makes dinner in your household? My ma. Do you have a blog? Just on Tumblr. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mother does because of gerd, and at least when my father still lived with us, he snored super loud, too. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah, a few people. What shows do you watch? Right now, only Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Whenever The Edge of Sleep comes out, I will 110% be watching that, too, because Mark is a key actor in it. :') Plus the concept seems super cool. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? Me mum. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone specific? No, given it has like... one lyric, haha. Do you own any TV show soundtracks? No. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? I mean I guess sign myself in at the doctor's. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? Oh my god, there's a candid one I got of Mom laughing when she was posing as my subject for a photography assignment, and I cherish it with ALL my heart. I want to share it with essentially the whole world, but yeah, I'm not gonna put my mom's picture here. As for my dad, I like this one I took of us at Red Lobster for his birthday a year or two back. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? Regular. What US state would you like to visit? Alaska. Last meal you made yourself? I put a chicken pesto thing in the microwave earlier for dinner.

[reroseshi]

🦇Psychological Analysis of Diabolik Lovers❤:

Hi! I've decided for my first own Tumblr post that I should talk about the franchise that I have been a fan of for 6 years: Diabolik Lovers. After being in this fandom for so long I felt personally kinda cheap for me to just do a short funny post about DL

… sooo~~~ i've decided to share my personal psychological analysis on all the diaboys! Disclaimer: 

1-My memory is quite short and trying to analyse 13  fictional mentally ill boys is quite tricky so please be easy on me.^^

2- English isn't my first language so there might be some mistakes so please pardon me for that!

3- I am currently still working on the Mukami's, the Tsukinami's and Kino so they aren't gonna be in this post!

4- I based myself on the manga and MAINLY HDB and MB for my analysis.

Thank you and have a good reading!^^~ <3

-Rero

Sakamaki's:________________________________

-Shu Sakamaki:

Shu is the first born and the heir of the Sakamaki family. Thus, whether he wants it or not, it was decided even before he was born that he will be the victim of a lot of pressure. That pressure to become worthy of being the heir not only came from both of his parents but the servants as well. He couldn’t be free for two seconds. He was obliged to stay inside the castle/mansion (sometimes in the garden with his mom) to study and train, but he wasn’t allowed to go somewhere else. As he lived in a strict environnement, he wasn't happy as a kid and wanted to escape from that life. Meeting Edgar gave him true happiness. He was his first real best friend and he eventually lost him in the flames of his village. Imagine the thing or person who made you discover true happiness burning in front of your own very eyes. You will most likely lose hope in making other close relationship with anything or anyone. That's how Shu is. A depressed, borderline suicidal man who doesn't have any hope anymore and thinks that it is all his fault. Refusing anyone close to him and empty on a daily basis, he uses music as a way to cope with everything. If you think that Shu is easier to love because "he is less harsh than the other brothers" then you are wrong. Shu doesn't want to be involved with anything or anyone. If you try to get close to him, then get ready to be hurt because he is a sadist like his brothers and can hurt you if he doesn't want you near him.

-Reiji Sakamaki:

(If you want a more detailed and a well done analysis, please go check this one:

Reiji was severely neglected as a child by both of his parents. He basically spent his entire childhood trying to get their attention or at least some recognition from them, especially his mom’s, but never got any or if he did it was to remind him that he should be a good younger/brother/servant/right-hand man for his older brother, the next heir of the Sakamaki family Shu. Thus, as he grew up he developed a strong feeling of jealousy for his brother to the point of having a severe inferiority complex. In addition to that, the bitterness that he has for ages inside of him about his mother still resides in him and as we know he is still trying to revive her. Reiji is a man who holds grudges from his past and seeks revenge. He is also someone who loves attention (maybe not as much as Kanato) and wants to be recognized as superior to his brother whom he despises so much to the point that you cannot even talk about Shu around him without having either a death glare or a ass whooping. By putting high standards on to himself, not only in the present but also in his past, he’s become a perfectionist who cares a lot about image and manners. He even forces Yui in his route to learn the perfect lady etiquette. Why does he act this way? Simple, in my opinion it is because he likes to keep a perfect image of himself in a way to detach himself from his brothers whom he despises a lot. You might also ask: if he hates his brothers, then why didn’t he kill them yet? Well, Reiji in one interview (https://prevolt.tumblr.com/post/103068375676/diabolik-lovers-dark-fate-stellaworth-complete )admits that he doesn’t completely hate living with his bros, also if he would’ve killed them, his father would’ve punished him. Even if he seems not that bad with his gentleman personality, Reiji isn’t a kind man. Reiji can easily kill someone. To end this, to go back to the butler-like image he gives himself, I think it could be a mask to hide the insecurities he has. I also believe that he constantly lies to himself and that he doesn’t truly understand his own emotions or even himself has seen many times in his HDB route and in the manga.

-Ayato Sakamaki:

(For Ayato I fell upon this really interesting analysis if you are interested ) 

Ayato, in his childhood, like all of his brothers, was not treated well by his father but he , most importantly, got overpressured by Cordelia to be number one. He couldn’t get out and play freely like any normal child can do because when he would sneak out, he got punished and got slapped in the face by his own mother telling him that if he cannot be number one, he is not allowed to call her “mother” again.(Also, do I need to remind you all the lake scene from his childhood… )For him, you cannot be loved and/or appreciated if you’re not number one. Because he had to live such a childhood, he developed a severe narcissistic personality. Narcissists are not born, they are made, and they are made by being over praised as a kid for their success (such as having a good grade at school, winning a competition or an award, being the best in what they are doing) and by being emotionally neglected. (Ex: throughout the day the child is getting good compliments from their parents by being the number one at school but when the kid will start crying, the parents will ignore or punish him for it. Not giving him any love or support. Which will lead the kid to build himself an ego higher than Yūma’s height and rejecting his own emotions.) I think it describes Ayato’s behaviour and his past pretty well. Another thing that is important to consider about Ayato is that he looks as if he is frozen in time. (Which is a trait that can also be found in any real life narcissists) Even if his mother is dead and that he has nothing to prove anymore, he is still stuck in the “I need to be number one” as if his brain didn’t move on to the present. In addition to that, Ayato is a really childish man. I mean: he needs Yui’s attention and approval all the time, pouts like a kid, acts like a kid (when he asked Yui to stroke his hair in a childish way, plays pranks on Reiji, …) and sometimes speaks like a kid when things are not going the way he wants them to go. Also, once states that he doesn’t wish to have someone special in his life again because the last one who was special (his mom) broke his heart. Ayato himself and himself only and the only goal in his life is to prove that he is the best. To do that, he will use ANY sadistic method and won’t stop even if you beg. Heck, it’ll only excite him more. He is a narcissistic sadist who keeps his emotions far away from him.

-Kanato Sakamaki:

(For this character I highly suggest that you take a good look a this psychological analysis since in my opinion really detailed and the author made a really good job making it: . Thank you~)

Just like his brother Laito, Kanato throughout his childhood was severely neglected and treated very harshly by both of his parents. The only thing that was valuable to his mother’s eyes was his beautiful voice and literally made him sing until his vocal cords bled. I suspect that Kanato probably suffers from Asperger syndrome from how he acts when he is mad, the fact that he doesn’t understand his or the emotions of others and his overall behaviour. In the present we can all see that he is almost, if not, the scariest of all sakamaki brothers and I think that it is mainly due to the lack of attention and support from his parents. Of all the Sakamaki’s, Kanato is the one who, from very early in his childhood, needed attention and support the most. Why do you think he always has a teddy in his arms (with his mother’s ashes in it must I remind you..)and makes his own doll made out of the body of dead women? Kanato simply cannot stand being alone. He would rather have you dead by his side for all eternity than being rejected or even worse, ignored.(I really recommend to read Kanato’s analysis since it really explains well his behaviour on that aspect^^)

He is maybe cute, remember that he is unable to understand your emotions and that he has no problem killing you. Also to be able to survive with him, you will have to abandon your logic and read in between the lines which isn’t an easy task..(This one is shorter because I think that Kanato isn’t that complex. He is just really different but still stays, in my opinion, pretty simple and easy to understand)

-Laito Sakamaki:

Laito is what I would call an empty pervert who uses sex as a coping mechanism. He believes that there’s nothing more real than pleasure. He even goes further in his “crazy” beliefs that “even the sweetest pain can become the greatest pleasure”. Behind his playful, sociable, perverted personality is a really cruel, cunning and manipulator expert who knows the best tricks to manipulate someone since his mother uses those on him in his “young adulthood” to have sexual intercourses with him. Only used as a sex partner by his mom as a child and never received any unconditional love from his parents, he has a bad definition of love. For him love=lust, real love (true love or even unconditional love) doesn’t exist and that it is all fake. He spends his time having sex to forget about the women that broke him and would even go as far as threatening Yui to death if she resist him when she doesn’t want to get involve in his “activities” or “little games”. But even after all that he can’t forget her and still is captive of her “love”, still feeling her, remembering her scent and everything about her. He can’t escape from that jail. Finally, it’s important to remember that Laito is a sadist who takes an amount of pleasure by having someone succumbing to him in a mental and sexual way. He is not someone to be taken lightly. You might not see the danger totally at first by that’s just how Laito is. He even says it himself in his HDB route, he is the type of man who will follow his prey in an alley before attacking it. Therefore, he is not like most of his brothers, he is not going to attack fully. He’s slowly going to take little bites of you and before you even realize it, you won’t be able to escape from him anymore.

-Subaru Sakamaki:

First of all, we need to know that Subaru was born (just like almost all of his brothers) just for the sake of Karl’s plan. What is different about Subaru is that his mother became crazy when she had her child. (I just want to state that she did want the child and Karlheinz did not totally raped her since it is stated that she accepted but we also all know that she was being manipulated. Since for the moment I want to concentrate more on Subaru I will not spend too much time explaining his parents relationship but it is something that we should definitely analyse as well in my opinion) Subaru was severely neglected by his father and he never knew what it was to have a normal mother. Throughout his entire childhood, he’s witnessed his mother’s unstable mind, bipolarity, her tantrums episodes and even worse, not only her insults being thrown directly at him but her literally asking him to kill both her and Karl. Because of that, he’s developed anger issues, a lack of trust with women, a severe depression and he is, if not, borderline suicidal. I also want to state that (He even states in his route in HDB that the two people he hates the most in “this world” is 1) Karlheinz 2)himself)Subaru is one if not the most sensible emotionally. So that means he feels harder than the others. You can also see that he has developed similar traits has his mother has you get to know him more in his route such as: bipolarity (when he orders Yui to always come and tell him where she’s going and then get mad when she does so telling her that he doesn’t care) and random tantrums. (when he gets mad à Yui for no good reason and even makes false assumptions) Not only does he usuels violence as a coping mechanism but he also always isolates himself, not letting anyone in his hard shell because he believes that he can’t do any good and that he is useless. In his presents, he still believes in his mother’s insults and thinks of him as someone filthy, disgusting, weak, a monster who can’t do anything to help the person he loved, his mother. He hates himself. He is constantly irritated by everything. If you want to love him you will have to endure the violence that he’s going to give to you and live with his confusion and irritation against not only everything that surrounds him but also against himself and you, and you will have to give up your life to make him trust you entirely.

[theasstour]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST TALENTED GUITARIST AND SINGER, THE DUMBEST BITCH, AND MY BEST FRIEND @devil-in-bw-the-sheets  💘💝💞💜💓💗❣️💖💟❤️💕 on christmas eve 2018, someone i’m never going to forget popped into my messages on tumblr, and on january 13th, that same someone whooped my bad texter ass, making Very Sure i didn’t forget about them lmao. thank you for being practically a drunk stranger but not having any of my shit, if you hadn’t had the guts to do that idk what i would’ve done tbh. britton, you’ve become an incredibly important part of my life. i can always be 100% myself with you and you should take that as a huge bloody compliment cos it takes a lot for me to properly open up to someone, but with you it’s been easy. countless of videos on snapchat of us talking back and forth, or facetiming when you’re driving home to keep you company cos you need to rant, it’s just so easy talking to you. you always call it as it is, take next to No shit and i admire that so much, and i’m so happy to have you in my life. you’re one of the few people in my life that will tell me if i’ve done something stupid, thank you for that. keeps an aqua ego from growing more than it should aferfiejwfij. anyway let’s move on to stuff i love about you shall we??

you’re kind, like maybe too kind for your own good. you’re fucking hilarious, you always manage to crack me up, no matter what mood i’m in. you’re an amazing friend, you always put the people you care about before yourself. you have this thing when you’re drunk or hyper or anything like that where you do a peace sign like between every other word, and it’s so cute and whenever i see you doing it i know you’re in a good mood which makes my mood skyrocket. the first time when we facetimed, you were drunk, and you spent most of the time crying and laughing cos you couldn’t believe we were actually facetiming. you’re so honest, and for a people pleaser like myself who often tell white lies it’s something i really admire and your honesty really inspired me. i love your mum for taking the piss out of me for the way i take pics on snapchat (ily liz). i feel like we can talk about literally anything and make it an interesting conversation cos we’re alike but we’re also so different lmao, i love that.

anyway i’m going to stop myself there cos i feel like i could go on for years. bottom line, thank you for being you and thank you for not giving up on me, even tho i made us lose our streak of like 200+++ days. i love you so much it’s a literal joke lmao. cannot wait to hug you and never let go in 2020 (speaking it into existence)!!!! also fucking catch up on love island the game i need to rant

[softhaos]

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr! 

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence. 

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu 

 @jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH 

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

[bigskydreaming]

So random stuff about me and my acting career, apropos of nothing but being bored and having a spare moment. Putting it under a cut, not because it’s super personal or I have a problem with reblogs or anything in this instance, it’s just long and rambly and only of interest if you’re like....actually interested. Idk.

So I was just talking about memory, and I’m weird because in most instances, I actually have a really freaky good memory. It’s not photographic, but it’s still damn good. I can memorize a script fast enough that it gives most of my other actor friends envy, I could draw a floorplan of like, every house I lived in as a kid, but the thing is it’s not automatic. I have to like....make a mental note to lock something in as worth hanging on to. Its not like I look at a page and I have it memorized, but I look at a page and make a mental note like I’m taking a snapshot of it, and then its locked in. 

But bottom line....I have a really really good memory for anything I care about to some degree, for whatever reason I care about it, whether it’s an important life event or a scene by scene breakdown of a fave fanfic I read twenty years ago in high school. Flip side tho....I have an absolutely TERRIBLE memory for anything that doesn’t particularly matter to me and I was never paying that much attention to begin with.

Now, you would think this would work out in my favor overall, as an actor, right? Like I said, I can memorize scripts really quickly and hold onto them for as long as I need to, I never forget a face if it’s someone I like or have a good interaction with, stuff like that.

Buuuuuut....problem is.....I’m also a jaded cynical asshole who super doesn’t give a shit about a lot of key things that most everyone else in the entertainment industry assumes everyone cares about as much as them. Like....say, how famous a person is, or how popular a show or movie is.

I could tell you every little detail I learned in conversation with a super obscure actor I worked with once eight years ago that’s only recently achieved a level of fame or celebrity if that actor was someone I enjoyed working with as a person. But if say, for instance, purely speaking hypothetically, if an actor were someone that I decided I didn’t give a shit about five seconds into our interaction because he came across as Generic Hollywood Douchebag #27? And if that actor was mostly in shows that aren’t to my personal tastes and so aren’t really on my radar, it doesn’t matter how big or famous that actor is, or even if I’ve literally met them three different times on three different projects and been personally introduced to them because I had actual lines with them.....hypothetically I would probably reintroduce myself to them each time as though it were the first time we’d ever met, even though I’m the nameless nobody and they’re the big star, because I simply did not give enough of a shit about them to lock in our previous interactions.

Now, I’m not saying that this scenario has happened, I’m just saying that it hasn’t....not happened. 

And I’ve definitely never been in the super awkward position of only realizing halfway into a three week shoot with a director that the kinda weird random comments the director keeps making to me have to do with the fact that he actually directed me in a commercial years earlier and has been assuming this whole time that I definitely remembered working with him before, whoops.

But yeah, point is, I have a lot of cool or interesting or funny stories from working in Hollywood for like...ten years now, I think? Idk. But they’re all from like...good days on set on projects I enjoyed working with people I liked. I’ve had just as many projects where I literally just showed up for the paycheck, worked with people I didn’t err...particularly care for, and basically just....forgot everything about the job and the experience the minute I walked off set because who needs that shit, you know? Like I mean, yes, I’m petty and spiteful and joke about this all the time, but in reality, I don’t ACTUALLY get super annoyed over every single negative interaction I ever have, I just exaggerate this aspect of me for shits and giggles on tumblr because I’m unneccessarily melodramatic. When it comes to my day to day job, aka working on set on various projects, its just not worth the mental energy to get worked up over a lot of the shit I deal with on a daily basis because like, Ego is EVERYWHERE in Hollywood, and even I do not have the time or energy to be annoyed every time I have to work with a patronizing asshole. So mostly, I just tend to...forget about them. Unless they REALLY get under my skin.

Anyway, this leads to a very weird dichotomy when it comes to talking about my actual career and experiences as an actor. I can totally be guilty of name-dropping and being all oh I know so and so or I worked on this or that, but its not really because I think its super impressive because they’re so famous or whatever. The novelty of working with famous people wears off pretty quick, and like...no matter how big the person you’re working with today is, its not like there isn’t always someone bigger, you know? So when I name drop, it tends to be because I just really like someone as a person or just had a really good time working with them or working on a particular shoot. But then again, flip side.....try and talk to me about a job I didn’t care about, I mean, not a job I HATED but a job I just....wasn’t invested in, just was there for the paycheck, and like....you’ll get a blank stare 99% of the time. 

So, I technically remain pseudo anonymous for the time being on tumblr, not wanting to publicly link this URL to my like....work stuff, that’s because most of you have seen me get enough anon crap from people worked up about fandom drama, that its not worth it to me to risk giving them potential ammunition like that. Considering I.....umm, absolutely have talked a LOT of shit about a couple of movies and shows and actors and directors that I have worked on or with personally because I have no filter lmao. 

(And yes, Kalen is my real name and ppl have found my twitter and writing stuff because of it BUT I use a different name for my SAG name so like, that’s not what I’m on IMDB and stuff as). But because I have no filter and am one of the least subtle people in existence, I actually do end up saying a lot of stuff I probably shouldn’t if I REALLY wanted to remain totally anonymous, because a few people have absolutely figured out stuff I’ve been in and even tracked me down based on stuff I’ve mentioned over the years, lol whoops. And its not really that big a deal because I do have enough common sense....well no, okay let’s put it this way, I do have a firm enough system of prioritizing things for myself that anything I do say out loud, online or in public, is something that I would and have stood by even if it ends up getting me in trouble. Like, its not end of the world type secrecy, its more just....eh, I don’t really want to deal with unnecessary career drama if I don’t have to, so I try to be vague about stuff when I remember to, but I’m not like....obsessively invested in it. If that makes sense?

But the funny thing is, even with friends who do know my real name and I talk to about actual jobs I’ve had, like....half the time I can’t even tell them where to find me, because I genuinely don’t even remember a ton of the stuff I’ve actually been in. I could literally still recite my lines from a role, because that’s important info I needed to get paid for the job and thus I retain it....but in instances where it was just one or two fairly generic scenes without a context clue or me using names to signify who I might be talking to or what show or movie it might be from....I literally do not remember what the actual role itself was, lmao.

Like, I’m not even exaggerating for effect even slightly, this is how weird my brain is. I get residual checks for work I’ve done where I have to like....go hunt down my voucher or contract that matches the dates on the check to figure out what project it was from and try and remember it. Or go through my phone or facebook based off the dates to try and see if I talked to anyone about it that can jog my memory. Because what’s worse is a lot of stuff in Hollywood that isn’t like, a long running TV show, will use a pre-production name or even just go by ‘Untitled (Director’s Name) Project’, so I get a check with the official name of the project on it, and my dumb ass never paid attention to it after I was done working on it so never actually connected the dots.

LOL, I’ve had people I know come to me and be like, hey, were you on this episode of Criminal Minds in Season (I don’t even remember, I forgot AGAIN, jesus)....and I’m like....uh, I don’t think so? Because I hate Criminal Minds but I actually do watch it on Netflix, but in the background of stuff when I’m working on writing or graphic design stuff from home, and so I’m like, uh, I think I would remember if I’d ever worked on Criminal Minds or at least noticed....and then they’re all, no, I swear, that’s you, and they told me the episode number and I looked it up on Netflix and fast forwarded to the time stamp they gave me and I was like....ohhhhhhh, right, yeah that is me. Wait, I remember that shoot, that was Criminal Minds???? Huh. I had no idea.

I’m not even kidding. This is a real, actual conversation I’ve had with a college friend on facebook.

But yeah, it literally happens all the time to me. People will ask me “so what would I have seen you in” and half the time I legit have to tell them “apparently, the stuff you’re most likely to have seen me in, I completely have no idea where to find it.” Because most of the jobs I’ve had that I really enjoyed and remember fondly were for like, indie movies, or pilots that never got picked up, or this was this car commercial I did that only ever aired in European markets, and shit like that. And IMDB isn’t really much of a help because most actors kinda have to manage their own IMDB pages....to get officially credited via SAG, through IMDB Pro and stuff, either you or your agent or manager have to go through the production itself to get confirmation, and it’s a whole hassle and like.....you all know I’m notoriously ADHD right? LOL. 

And I’ve never really had a consistent agent or manager for longer than a couple months, because the level that I’m at career wise, I’ve honestly always done better getting my own work than getting it through agents sending me on auditions. I’ve done two big budget pilots for primetime networks and both of them I got cast because the casting director called me in directly because she remembered me from these three episodes I did on a soap opera eight years ago, random stuff like that and personal networking, that’s how I’ve landed most of my jobs. But that means I’m the only one responsible for maintaining my IMDB page, which given the hoops you have to jump through to get properly credited in a lot of cases, means mine is missing like...a lot. (Also I haaaaate watching myself act on camera, because I’m a perfectionist and super self-critical, so I never seek out my own stuff to watch anyway, I show up, I do the job, I’m done with it, on to the next).

But another example, there’s a pretty popular show that ran on ABC for multiple seasons and is one of the more prominent places where people have seen me and recognized me in something, because like, it’s a one scene role but it’s definitely and clearly me. And so I went to IMDB to check if I was credited for it, because sometimes production does it itself and I don’t always have to do it personally, only....the role is credited....but to some random guy who most definitely is not me. I have no idea who this guy is, I don’t even remember seeing him on that shoot and yes it’s one i actually remember well lol, but from his page it looks like he’s basically a career extra who gets production to credit him when he has significant face time or a nonverbal and nameless but still relevant role - they do that sometimes, so its worth a shot I guess - but anyway, he somehow managed to get credited with my role either by accident or design and I’ve literally been trying for years to get that changed, but since production wrapped years ago it’s a pain hunting the right people down and every time I try and go hey I should finally take care of this, I end up just getting annoyed and go fuck it and give up lmao.

So random funny story to wrap this up........like....six or seven years ago I went down to San Diego to visit my little sister, she’s four years younger than me and so had just graduated college I think. And so I was there for a few days and at one point she wanted to go see this new summer movie that had just come out with Hayden Panettiere in it, that girl from Heroes, though its some other show that my sister was a fan of hers from. I did some stunt work on Heroes once though so that’s what I tend to remember her from, even though I’ve actually worked on a few different things she’s been on.

So anyway, my sister and I are sitting in the middle of the theater watching this movie I’ve never heard of or seen any previews for.....it was one of those generic summer high school/college rom-coms that randomly get sprinkled in amidst summer blockbusters some years. And I’m bored and barely paying attention because I looked up the synopsis before we left and it didn’t grab me and I wasn’t big on any of the cast, so I’m mostly just there to humor my sister because she’s that sibling that every family has where all other siblings fear them. And I’m not like, snoozing or anything, but nothing about the movie is holding my interest so its one of those just kinda...glazed eyes, killing time kinda experiences, and also, parts of it feel very familiar and I’m like....have I seen this before or is it just really really formulaic?

And then my sister full on hits me in the shoulder and hisses “You didn’t tell me you were IN this!” And I’m like, okay first, OW, second....I’m not, I think I would know? And she’s looking at me like I’m the biggest idiot in the world and then gestures super obnoxiously and dramatically (it runs in the family) at the screen and people are starting to look at us, so I’m like I’m looking, jeez, chill....and then its like...huh. Cuz sure enough, there I am. Right in the middle of this big house party scene. That’s definitely me, and suddenly I’m like.....thaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s why I feel like I’ve seen this movie before, I’m remembering the sceeeeeenes I was on set for. Ugh, no wonder I forgot about it, now I’m remembering we shot this one scene right here like 22 times, we spent three fucking days on it, it was annoying as hell.

And my sister’s still looking at me accusingly, like I’ve committed some mortal sin by not alerting her in advance to my presence, or more likely, not having called her to give her every single detail of my experience on a movie she was interested in, and I’m like....what do you want me to say? I didn’t know I was in this! 

How do you NOT know you’re in a movie, she wants to know, and we’re whisper fighting in the middle of the theater but luckily nobody seems too mad, the ppl around us look kinda amused actually because they’ve recognized the me next to them as the me on the screen and have overhead enough to get the gist (my sister is a very loud whisperer), and anyway I’m like, I knew I was in A movie, I just didn’t know it was THIS movie, it was one of those Untitled projects I’m pretty sure. I never knew what they ended up calling it!

And she’s like, and you never tried to find out what it was ultimately called or when it would come out at least? Which....no, why would I? It’s a terrible movie, I have zero interest in it.

Finally she’s like ugh, whatever, I still don’t get how you didn’t at least think ‘hey, I was in something with Hayden Panettiere recently, maybe its this’ when I was talking about her being in it. You had to at least know she was in it, you’re standing like....five feet away from her!

And I think I just shrugged at that point, because it was like, yeah, I knew it was her, but I’ve been that close to her a bunch of times, so what? She’s okay I guess but she’s not that great, I didn’t pay that much attention lol. Besides this was actually like a year ago I’m pretty sure, I’ve actually worked on the same set as her like twice since then I think, so.....idk. I probably just thought this was Heroes again? Whatever, it all blurs together and the director was super obnoxious, I remember now. I spent the whole shoot trying to astral project away from there.

I think that was the point where she just gave up on me and idk, knowing her she probably did a super dramatic hair toss and then tried to ignore me for the rest of the movie. Most likely while internally ranting about what a waste it is having an actor brother who doesn’t even care enough to let you know when he’s on set with her like....multiple times. To which I probably would’ve replied I can’t possibly be expected to keep up with her current faves, she changes celeb idols like, as often as she changes her hair color, which is a LOT. Ahem. Anyway. At one point my scene came on where I had actual lines, and I started mouthing them along with the me on screen, which I do admit in hindsight, was probably a Dick Older Brother move on my part, but whatever, she was being totally unreasonable about the whole thing, but then she gave me a Devil Glare and was like “I thought you didn’t remember being in this movie,” and I gave into the compulsion to just go full on Dick Older Brother and was like “I said I didn’t remember the MOVIE, of course I remember my LINES, I’m a professional, Ashley, god”.

Yeah. She was irritated about that for awhile. Oh well. Siblings. What can you do, y’know?

But moral of the story - you’d think, after all that, I’d at least always remember that movie after that happened.

I do not.

I think I’ve told this story to a bunch of people over the years, and every single time they ask me, so what was the movie, I wanna check it out. And to this day, I STILL can not for the life of me remember the fucking title of that movie or even like, what my character’s name was, and I just...never care enough to go try and hunt it down and figure it out.

What’s really bad, is I know for a FACT that multiple people I’ve told this story to have then gone on to hunt it down from Panettiere’s IMDB page on their own, and came back to me like ‘was it this one’ and I’m always like YES! THAT’S IT!

.....two minutes later, I have completely fucking forgotten the name of the movie again.

I SWEAR TO GOD I’M NOT EVEN JOKING. This is just....my brain.

[drfranklangdon]

Underneath the Same Sun ☼

Okay so this fic is inspired by the amazing headcanons @t0ziers​ wrote. And encouraged by a comment on said post by @richietoaster. Honestly I fell in love with the idea of a long distance Reddie AU and knew I had to write it. But I wanted to write it from Richie’s point of view. And some other facts are different. whoops.  Also huge shoutout to my name twin, @buttercup-irwin for inspiring me in general to write fics. This is my first official one. Here goes nothing ~

✧ Chapter One ✧ Chapter Two ✧ Chapter Three

Words ;; 1,824 ･ﾟ Pairing ;; Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak  & some hints of Stan Uris / Bill Denbrough (It)  ･ﾟ  Warnings ;; Strong language, Talk of penises, 18 y/o boys kissing (omg)  ･ﾟ

❝ — Richie Tozier knew he wasn’t internet famous. In the grand scheme of things, his shitty meme blog and dead vine account were nothing compared to all the models on Instagram paid to post pictures of their abs. But damn, 4,000 followers and some change was nothing to sneeze at in Tumblr terms. And he did it all without posting porn. His best friend, Stan, might not understand just how big of a deal that it is, but his followers knew he was top tier. If you weren’t following ‘trxshmouth’ - you were causing yourself a disservice.

Out of all those 4,000 followers Richie had, he almost never spoke to any of them. He had mutuals that would sometimes tag him in their posts or follow forevers. But no one really, honestly knew the man behind the memes. That was until ‘pastelgazebo’ followed him. 

As soon as the notification on his phone popped up, Richie had to stop what he was doing and open the link. The boy literally stopped walking to quickly scroll through the soft pink aesthetic filled page, his mouth plastered with a wide grin the whole time.

“Earth to Richie…We’re going to be late to class…RICHIE?!” Stan was rolling his eyes now - a usual occurrence when your best friend is Richie - vape naesh - tozier. Stan waved his hand in front of Richie, but the boy just kept typing on his phone, not looking up for a second.

“Celebrity stuff, Stanley, you wouldn’t understand.” Richie finally lifted his head taking the time to push in his pop socket of the dancing snapchat hotdog and shove the phone into his back pocket, before beginning to walk again.

“You’re not famous, Richie. I have a blog - So does Bill. We all do. You’re no different.”

“Wow okay - your blog is all pictures of birds. Literally no one cares about birds except for you. You can’t possibly compare my blogging experience to just you sitting on your bed looking at pictures on the internet. It’s not even on the same level and fairly i’m concerned that you would ever think you compare to me.” A ding goes off in Rich’s pocket, and the boy slapped his ass before pulling the phone from it and transfixing his gaze on the screen once again.

“You forget, Richard. I’m the one with boyfriend now, and you are the one stuck having to look at pictures on the - Are you even listening to me insulting you ?? No you’re not - Of course” And the eye rolls were back.

“Haha yeah - you and Bill make out all the time and all I do is watch porn - ha ha very funny Stan the man - but not for fucking long !! ‘Cause this trashmouth might’ve just found the love of his life !!” Richie was talking like a schoolgirl raving about JTT. He was making no sense at all. And then he was shoving his phone into Stan’s face.

The blog was ‘Pastelgazebo’ An organized studyblr with the description written in bright pink font. ‘Eddie ✧ 18 ✧ pre-med at NYU ✧ Bev made me do this.’ The icon was not of the boy’s face. Instead of a bunch of lilacs scattered around a cup of tea. The most recent post was a public answer from none other than trashmouth himself. In all caps the question read ‘SO DO YOU LIKE MEMES?’ with a simple ‘uh yeah’ answer from the other blog. “Wow yeah - you two are a real modern day Romeo and Juliet” Now Stan was sure he should start charging his roommate for all these eye rolls.

❝ — It’s been two months since Richie and Eddie became mutuals. Sixty days since the boys began to talk every day through tumblr messenger. Giving Stan the Man a run for his money when it came to Richie’s coveted best friend slot. A spot that Stan has said many times he did not sign up for and would very much appreciate someone taking. He was everything Richie wasn’t. Clean, organized, short. But he was sassy and not afraid to call Richie out on his shit. Richard Tozier was in love. It was real. He wanted to marry this kid. It was really fucking unfair that all Richie could do was text Eddie when Stan was across the dorm just first basing his boyfriend right in front of his glass covered eyes. Rubbing salt into the hormone filled wound of Richie’s.

↪ trxshmouth - They’re doing it again 

↪ pastelgazebo - Leave your roommate alone. He’s allowed to kiss his boyfriend if he wants to. 

↪ pastelgazebo - Shouldn’t you be studying ?? I know I am.

↪ trxshmouth - The least they could do is invite me to join. It’s only fair after being forced to listen to Bill stutter his way through dirty talk

↪ pastelgazebo - BEEP BEEP RICHIE!

↪ trxshmouth - I regret telling you about that every fucking day

❝ — Three months now. Three whole months of friendship all built on an ask about memes. Richie now knew that Eddie accidentally followed Richie instead of exiting his blog. And although it sort of hurt - he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that only Eddie Kaspbrak would meet his best friend by accident. 

Richie was officially calling Eddie his best friend now. Stan lost that privilege when Rich had to wake up to a nearly naked Bill trying to sneak out of his dorm at five in the morning. Honestly the audacity !! Like, really ?! The Uris/Tozier residence was a place of fucking high class. He gave the culprit the stink eye to let him know that he saw everything. ( and damn he meant everything - those boxer briefs were not leaving anything to the imagination. No wonder Stan is keeping him still. ) All Billy could do was giggle as he pulled up his jeans and darted for the door. From then on Richie only referred to his roommate’s boyfriend as ‘Big Bill’ and Stan knew right away where the name came from and  - oh boy, he was not happy about everyone knowing about his private life. He didn’t seem to care about privacy before ; when he was letting his boyfriend walk around their dorm dong practically out.

So now Eddie was Richie’s official best friend. But Richie was lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he wanted so much more from the east coast boy. The two had finally exchanged Skypes and tonight was going to be the first time Richie would be able to hear Eddie’s voice - see Eddie’s face that wasn’t in a blurry snapchat with a filter. The trashmouth was actually freaking out. The whole day he was shaking and his ADHD was off the charts. He’s wanted this for three fucking months. And it’s finally here. The skype ring blared through the UCLA dorm and Rich was sure it sounded like the wedding march for a second. He answered the call and had to hold back from gasping. “Wow Eds, you’re really cute.”

The boy was in a pale yellow polo, cross legged on his dorm bed. His cheeks flared as red as his short shorts. Oh did Richie not mention his short shorts ?? Because wow this boy was not afraid of showing some leg. “Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself - Oh and don’t call me that.” Richie couldn’t help but laugh at how easily embarrassed Eddie got. He deserved every compliment in the world.

They spoke for hours about classes and their lives before college. Turns out both were from different towns in Maine. They were so close before - and it took Richie moving all the way out to California for them to be driven together. It really was a small world. Eddie opened up about his mother and how she was driving him crazy now that he wasn’t living at home. Mrs K. makes Eddie get tested like every other week - making sure he wasn’t being slowly killed by the filth of New York. Richie shared that his parents haven’t called him since he moved out. And how when December break comes up, he was probably going to stay with Stan’s family in San Diego. Eddie had this destroyed look on his face when Richie talked about his home. He looked crushed on the other boy’s behalf. And all the freshman wanted to do was jump through the screen, hug Eddie and never let go.

❝ — Four fucking months had gone by since Richie made contact with the love of his life. They skype nearly every night. They know everything there is to know about one another. ( Okay. So Eddie didn’t know Richie smoked. But the boy was willing to cross that bridge when they got to it ) It didn’t matter that a whole country was separating them. When the two spoke - it was as if they were in each other’s laps. 

Except Eddie wasn’t sitting in Richie’s lap. He wasn’t running his thin fingers through the boy’s curls and telling him that there was no where else he would rather be than right there. All of that was in Richie’s dreams. He was too afraid to make a move and actually ask Eds out. Stan, Bill, Bev, even Eddie’s roommates Mike and Ben have started to get on the pair for how flirty they were.

Richie was doodling in his notebook as Eddie was telling a story about how his psych professor misspelled professor on the first day of the semester and now no one can take him seriously. Eddie’s voice was like music to Richie’s ears. It inspired him to be better. It made his crazy nerves calm for once. It was like nothing else existed when he spoke. The brunette looked up to his mac and couldn’t help himself but to mutter. “I really wish we could date.” A second went by before Richie heard what he had actually said out loud. He covered his mouth and turned bright red.

Eddie was matching in blush to the cross country boy. He chuckled for a moment and asked “Richie will you be my boyfriend?” And now Richie was covering his whole face because holy fuck, was this real ?? Did his actual dream boy really ask him out. And he said it so calmly. Richie thought he was going to be sick. He could feel his stomach churning.  Then it occurred to him that he actually hadn’t answered the boy yet. He’d been waiting for this day for four fucking months and for the first time ever - Richie trashmouth Tozier was speechless. His mind was racing and to stop himself from breaking down and crying there and then, he revealed his flushed face to the webcam, with the dumbest smirk on his features.

“Sure, Eds - but only if you answer this question - Do you like memes ??”

Note ;; This is like half of the headcanons. So let me know if I should write chapter two !

[hey-mando]

When (Gaston x Reader)

Word Count: 1,943 Warnings: None A/N: Ugh life is busy sometimes guys. Sorry for the hiatus, but ya girl is back now, so there’s a whoop. This was actually the first one-shot I ever wrote for Gaston, and I just found it again today and realized that this shiz ain’t half bad. SO HERE YA GO. Agains, apologies for being inactive. Missed ya'll ❤️

Tags: (guys my Tumblr did a glitch and deleted the draft that I had my tag list saved on, so I lost all of that info. If you wanna be re-added to the new list and get tagged on all my future writings, just shoot me an ask)

Villeneuve was an immensely small village, so to say that news of something was all over town wasn’t a particularly impressive statement to make. But this time it was different. This time, what had started as the harmless ravings of a delusional lunatic had turned into something very real, and the fear, anger and intensity was spreading through the villagers like wildfire.  

  There was a beast hidden away in an ancient castle, deep inside the gnarled woods that skirted the town’s edge. According to several members of the steadily growing mob, the creature had already driven poor old Maurice crazy, and placed a powerful bewitchment on Belle, Maurice’s daughter, who also happened to be one of your closest friends. This beast was a dangerous, rabid enigma, and the people of Villeneuve tended to fear that which they didn’t understand. But this wasn’t just fear. This was flat out panic. After all, none of you were safe until he was dead. He was a viscous monster who would wreak havoc on the village if he was allowed to wander free.  

  This was the mindset of all in the town…except you. In your mind, there was nothing to worry about. Up until today when Belle had presented proof of the beast’s existence, no one had even known that he existed. He had never brought any harm to your small corner of the world before, so why would he start now?  

  But attempting to present that argument to the mob of Frenchmen would be pointless now. That being said, it was a given that your say in the matter was nonexistent. The only thing to be done now was either to grab the nearest pitchfork, or say a prayer for those who already had. No point in wasting your breath trying to sway such a mass. Better to use that breath to say your goodbyes. Which was exactly what you were trying to do.  

The night was starless and black. The air was humid and flooded with the sound of a hundred voices, all shouting over one another and pouring into a steady rumble of rage. Washed in the glow of their torches, the faces of the usually peaceful townspeople looked twisted and savage, like an army of demons. 

    The display around you was dizzying.There had never been so much action transpiring at one time in the small hamlet. The atmosphere was woven with fibers of hatred and chaos, and the mood was so out of place in Villeneuve that the scene surrounding you felt more like some nightmarish dream than reality.  

  Trying to make your way through the crowd was a nightmare in itself. You had already been poked and scratched by multiple axes and pitchforks, the hems of your dress were torn due to the amount of times they’d been trampled under the stampede of boots, and your hair was so mussed that it would’ve made for a quite suitable bird’s nest. Nevertheless, you had simply one ambition: to find the leader of this insane venture. The one who, never shy of danger, had unhesitatingly spearheaded the entire operation. And the only man in town who’s safety you were genuinely concerned with, as heartless as it sounded.    

  After nearly an hour of searching, you were beginning to get annoyed and even a little scared. There were only so many places that he could be, and right at the moment when you were starting to fear that you’d already looked everywhere - 

   “(Y/N)!”  

  Your head jerked, recognizing the voice instantly. Turning in a circle, squinting at the blur of faces you called back, “LeFou! Where are you?”

   “Over here!” Came the reply from behind you. You wheeled, catching a glimpse of his flushed face among the bustling scrim. Without hesitation, you gathered your skirt into your hands, hiked it to your knees, and made a bolt towards the fountain in the middle of the square where you’d spotted LeFou. When you reached the large stone sculpture, you jumped onto it just as he did the same, catching each others forearms as you balanced between the bubbling water on one side and the raging sea of bodies on the other.  

  “(Y/N), I’ve been looking all over for you!” LeFou exclaimed, completely winded. His face was the color of a ripe pomegranate, and he appeared to be feeling woozy. “LeFou, this is utter madness!” you shouted, gripping his arm as he swayed. “Tell me about it!” he returned. “Monsieur D’Arque has Maurice and Belle on their way to the asylum, and even the jail has been emptied to increase our numbers. Sometimes I have to wonder if my best friend really is crazy!” 

  Best friend. At those words your muscles tensed, remembering why you were wading through this mess in the first place.

   “Where is he, LeFou?” you asked loudly. LeFou’s eyebrows shot up as if he had also remembered something. “Ah, yes, that’s why I’m here! He sent me to find you and bring you back!”  

You paused, then nodded, your jaw clenching. “Take me to him!”    LeFou didn’t have to be asked twice. Keeping your grip on each other firm, you leapt back down into the streets and began shouldering your way along. With every second that passed the urgency seeped in like a black ink stain on white cloth. Who knew what awaited the minuscule army of farmers and shopkeepers on their way to the enchanted castle. For all any of them knew, they might never return to their homes and families. By daylight, the village could be in mourning, double the widows and fatherless children.  

You were jerked from your thoughts by a group of men standing in the doorway of the tavern, bows in their hands. “Monsieur LeFou!” one of them called, bringing LeFou to an abrupt halt. He flinched, his eyes shifted nervously as he replied, “That would be me…” Then, offhandedly to you he whispered, “Oh goodness knows what they want now.”   

With reluctance LeFou spun to you and said, “I guess this is goodbye for now, (Y/N). I’ll see you when we get back…hopefully.”  

You frowned and embraced him briefly. “See you then, LeFou.”

   The man nodded, then pointed towards the stables that stood at the end of the cobblestone street. “He’s waiting for you there.”   

You nodded your thanks, then LeFou withdrew and scurried towards the tavern. You ignored the small notion that this might be the last time you ever saw the witty man, shoving it out of your mind as you spun on your heel and dashed towards the stables. However through some tangle of missteps, you found yourself being spun helplessly by the churning tides of the mob, this way and that until your head spun and you couldn’t distinguish up from down. 

   At that moment you felt a large hand on your arm, and with a shriek you were tugged to the side out of the crowd, rather ungracefully stumbling through the door of the stables. Consequently you wound up tripping as the darkness swallowed you, and if it hadn’t been for the solid chest and strong arms you tumbled into, you would’ve been flat on the ground. You tilted your head up to see glinting eyes staring back at you. 

   “You just can’t seem to stop falling for me, can you, love?” the man said smugly. Had it been any other day, you would’ve promptly informed him that he’d merely tripped you, but every second counted, and it was foolish to wast away your time with pointless banter. 

   You managed to find your feet, and as soon as you did you gave his chest a shove, which didn’t move him an inch, but was helpful for emphasis. “Oh you idiot, Gaston, what have you gotten yourself into now?”    

Gaston’s dark eyes continued to sparkle as his lips drew into that legendary smirk. “Well, I’m not quite sure, but judging by our current position, it’s something that I rather enjoy.”

    You rolled your eyes and tried not to take notice of his hands sliding around your waist. “Not this, Gaston,” you rebuffed in an obvious tone. “That.” You stressed the word by pointing a finger towards the open wooden door at the fiery riot outside. Gaston didn’t spare a glance towards the place you indicated, keeping his gaze intently on yours. “That is merely what a hundred or so passionate Frenchmen on the way to fight for their freedom looks like,” he answered simply. 

  You gaped at him. Honestly by now you should be used to Gaston’s eccentric behavior, yet every day he still managed to surprise you. Sometimes it was good thing. Other times -  like now - not so much.     “What freedom?” you hissed back. “Gaston, this beast or whatever has done nothing to us but leave us in peace. Why go marching into a battle that doesn’t even exist -” 

  “Because, (Y/N), how long do you think it will last?” Gaston countered, a bit of his lightness melting away. He now looked a rather stern. “Would you ignore a spark in a barn full of hay because it wasn’t doing any damage at the moment?”  

You bit your lip, shifting your weight and bringing your hands to rest on Gaston’s arms. You shook your head.  

“Exactly,” he said softly. “We would be nothing but foolish to ignore such a blatant danger to Villeneuve simply because it posed no immediate threat.” 

  “I understand, I just…I’m…” your cheeks heated insufferably. “I don’t want you to get hurt. You have to stay safe, that’s the only way I’m allowing you to go off on this crazy hunt.”  

  Gaston chuckled quietly and used his grip around your waist to abruptly pull you flush against him. You gasped at the unexpected action as he said slowly, “Don’t worry, my dear. Look who you’re speaking to.”  

You raised an eyebrow, allowing your hands to settle on his neck. “Of course, how could I forget. No one hunts like Gaston, right?”  

“Yup.” 

  You laughed, coaxing a breathtaking sort of smug grin from him. Still keeping you pressed tightly to him, he moved his left hand and let it drift to your face. Typical. Even in a dim, dusty old stable with a shouting, murderous village just outside, Gaston still managed to turn the moment romantic. In fact it was nearly impossible to have a moment with him that wasn’t romantic in some way or another. All you had to do was look at him, with his smooth black hair, his smoldering eyes and smirking lips, his proud stance and thick muscle. It was instantaneous.  

  “When I return, we’ll mount this beast’s head on my wall and you’ll have a fur cloak so magnificent you’ll turn the whole town green with envy,” Gaston murmured, caressing your cheek with his thumb. You grinned, winding your fingers through his hair. “When you return,” you echoed. Gaston’s smile grew. He brushed his thumb across your lips, then gently tilted your chin up, whispering affirmatively, “When.”   

  You grinned widely, then stood on your toes to eliminate the distance separating you. Gaston inhaled deeply as your lips collided, gripping your waist with one hand and placing the other behind your head.

    You became lost in that moment, locked in Gaston’s arms, feeling his heartbeat against your chest, shivers trembling across your skin despite the heated evening. So lost that you forgot about the world outside the little stable, and you forgot about the fact that in mere minutes, you would see Gaston ride off towards the woods with the town behind him, not knowing if you would ever see your true love return again.

[zfiledh]

Return to Rothezar 2

AO3 | LJ | FF.net

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |

Stan and Ford returns to Oregon with tales to tell. 

First and foremost, I want to give a shout-out to the wonderful @eregyrn-falls​ for drawing Maegella and Ford! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! <3

--

Port of Brookings, Oregon – two days later, Monday

Soos stood at the waiting area, holding up a sign saying “STAN BROS”. He’d been holding up the sign since he arrived at the Port over thirty minutes ago. His arms were aching something fierce, but he didn’t mind. He had to be visible so that the two Mr. Pineses could see him. The large man was practically bouncing with excitement.

The Pines family is returning to Gravity Falls. The summer of 2013 will be AWESOME.

At the moment, only ten people in Gravity Falls know that the two pairs of Pines twins will be spending the summer here. From the Mystery Shack were Soos, Melody and Abuelita. Abuelita had been cleaning the Mystery Shack with the help of Candy Chiu and Grenda Grendinator (Grenda had been a big help in lifting the furniture high enough for the floor under it to be vacuumed) and Melody and Pacifica set to work making banners and blowing up balloons. At the former Northwest Manor, Fiddleford and Tate had prepared the guest rooms for the family. Meanwhile, Wendy went trekking into the forest to prepare its citizens of the family’s arrival.

The tenth person arrived two days ago. This person was another reason why Soos was so excited.

And then he starts bouncing again with more rigor, because he spotted two familiar faces making their way toward him.

“Welcome back, Mister Pineses!” Soos called out as he drops his sign to engulf the two men into a spine-cracking hug.

“Thanks for taking the crick out of my back Soos,” Stan said appreciatively after being placed back on the ground. The younger man just grins at him and picks up their duffel bags. “Haven’t been able to get rid of it since we last made port.”

“How’s things going on, dudes?” Soos asks amiably as he leads the way to the pick-up truck. “Did you find more mysteries out in the ocean?”

Soos didn’t see his former employer-slash-father figure elbow his brother in the ribs.

“Oof! Oh! Yes, we came across some interesting places after we dropped you off here last time,” Ford shared while he rubbed the area where Stan elbowed him. “Let’s see: we went to Easter Island for some time off…”

“Turns out all those big-headed statues were kinda alive, and we decided to drop by on the ONE day of the year where they decide to pop outta the ground for a swim,” Stan cut in. They had reached the pick-up truck, where Soos placed their duffel bags in the cab of the truck. Stan immediately calls shotgun while Ford rolls his eyes and takes the seat at the back. Ford waited until Soos hopped into the driver’s seat and fired up the truck before continuing the story.

“First of all, they’re called Moai, Stanley. Secondly…well, you’re right about the swimming. I don’t understand how the locals slept through all that racket. But I figured the Moai didn’t mind when they saw us camping in their meeting spot.”

“I’m just glad they didn’t trample us on the way to the beach,” Stan snorted. “But their beach party sent the Stan O’War out into the middle of the ocean…”

“Now, now: Paro apologized to us about it and pulled the boat back for us,” Ford added.

“Like a dude from Egypt?” Soos asked.

“Paro, not Pharoah, Soos. He’s the biggest of the Moai statues—er—giants,” Ford explained. “And he unmoored the Stan O’War when he cannonballed into the ocean.”

“I still can’t believe no one woke up from that but us!” Stan muttered. “The best one was where we became twenty years old again for a day.”

“Stan, it was a trap,” Ford said in exasperation.

“No way!” Soos breathed out, taking his eyes off the road to look agog at Stan.

“Soos, keep your eyes on the road!” Ford yelped.

“Whoops! Hehehe, got distracted there for a moment,” Soos said nervously as he looked back on the road. “Where’d you two go to get de-oldified?”

“Well, after the Easter Island incident, we decided to head south to check something out in Mexico,” Ford began to share. “Before we passed Ecuador, we came upon this island that wasn’t on any map and decided to investigate. We docked and explored the beach for a while until we found a trail that led to this cove. In the middle was this small, rocky fountain with writing carved into a slab beside it that said, ‘Drink this elixir of life and regain the years passed by.’ Next thing I knew, Stan dunked his head into the water and started drinking from it.”

“Hey, that’s what you do when you find something interesting and get science-crazy,” Stan defended himself. “And the sign was right! Soos, ya should’ve seen Ford’s face when he saw me de-oldifying before his eyes!”

“Like watching a raisin turn back into a grape,” Ford snorted. “After deciding that Stan wasn’t suffering from any ill effects, I took a drink myself and de-aged just like Stan.”

“And then there was a party on the beach!” Stan yelled happily. “Babes and barbeque!”

“Surprisingly, a lot of young people right after we drank that water,” Ford said quietly.

“Hey, don’t you deny you were enjoying yourself out there that night!”

“Probably would have stayed longer if we hadn’t woken up back to our normal age with a raging hangover,” Ford reminded him. “And have you forgotten what we found when we went back to the fountain?”

Stan made a face. “Older people!”

“There were other people on the island?” Soos asked, perplexed.

Ford snorted. “They were the same partygoers we met the previous night. Turns out they’ve been living on the island for decades. The elixir only lasts for twelve hours, and they return to the fountain to rejuvenate the following day. They invited us to stay forever, but…”

“That meant we couldn’t see the kids again,” Stan muttered. “Yeah, it was a trap. They went nuts when we said no and formed an angry mob.”

“Fortunately, only two of them had managed to drink the elixir. Stan knocked those two guys out, and we reached the boat before the rest of them could hobble out of the cove,” Ford finished, trying to repress a grin.

Soos shook his head. “I gotta admit, this is very different from my fanfic of you two. I gotta do some rewrites…”

“I feel a li’l conflicted knocking out two guys who may be a hundred each,” Stan chuckled. “But not too much! And let’s not forget the humongous owl who thought you were her baby!”

“Stan, please don’t…” Ford begged.

“Hey, rescuing you from her perch was the reason I nearly threw my back!” Stan shot back before he started his tale.

Ford just shook his head as he let Stan tell this story. He leaned back on the seat and pulled the neck of his sweater to extract a polished, dark blue stone attached to a necklace. The blue stone was etched with gold symbol that looked like an X fused with a rectangle, with a sort of key-shape protruding from the middle of the X. Ford recently discovered that this was the old Behenian symbol for Deneb Algedi, or “the tail of the goat”, referring to the fish-tail of the celestial sea-goat Capricorn. And just like its fellow sigil, this symbol is shown differently from its Earth counterpart on another dimension, standing on its “tail” with the X raised to the sky.

He rubs the stone with his thumb and tucks it back under his sweater.

--

(Former) Northwest Manor

Inside a bathroom, Maegella looks at herself in the large oval mirror as she combs her hair. The bags under her eyes were darker since she arrived in this plane of existence. She was unable to recall when she last had a good night’s sleep.

She was delighted when she was reunited with Soos and Wendy the day after she arrived. It seems that her new acquaintance knew the people she was looking for. Between the McGuckets and these young people, it was decided to keep her presence a secret, to surprise the Pines family when they arrive at the mansion.

Maegella agreed.

On the sink in front of her are a pair of scissors she managed to find somewhere. There is also a tattered picture of a blonde girl with a supremely confident look about her that she found in her bedroom. Maegella looks at the girl’s hair before facing the mirror and using the comb to part the hair she is planning to cut.

Author’s note: Oh my goodness, what a dry spell for writing! I got stuck after writing a few paragraphs, but thanks to the abovementioned fanart and a little bit of brainstorming and I manage to churn this out!

The adventures that Ford and Stan shared here was inspired from a post from @fordblogs​, a great RP Tumblr account, a post from the famous @moringmark, and a headcanon from @thesnadger.

Here's to hoping I don't wait months before churning out Chapter 3!

[waterparksk-blog]

11 questions

So I got a bunch of these and I didnt realise until now so here goes!! (whoops its taken me like two days to actually answer these)

Thanks so much to @geoffwigingtonshair @gloomboysmp3 @applepuns @musictrash0426​ @fronkieroismyhero​ for tagging me xx (sorry if I missed out anyone ahh)

1.current favourite album? it changes everyday but double dare or life’s not out to get you

2. how tall are you? 5′5 and a hALF that half is very important it makes me above average height

3. do you have/want any tattoos? not really but I think they’re pretty cool

4. physical copies or digital downloads? physical

5. What was your first concert (if you’ve had one)? loool the jingle bell ball

6. marvel or dc or don’t care at all? yikes don’t really care sorryyy

7. star sign? sagitarius but they found like two new ones idk and if you count that I’m ophiuchus

8. favourite movie? ahhh this is hard... all harry potter

9. what made you get tumblr? so this one specifically I wanted a parx blog but my original one was for funny stuff

10. do you want to get married (not to me don’t worry, just like in general)? not keen on it at the minute but I might change my mind idk

11.who is your favourite person in the world? can I say my dog ??

1)favourite colour? changes a lot but maybe blue

2) favourite band/artist? waterparkssss

3) favourite hobby/pass time? haven’t done it in ages but surfing

4) favourite game? slam like the card game

5) colour of your eyes? blue / lil bit grey

6)how long have you had tumblr? since I was 14?? maybe 13?? idk

7) Favourite season? summer bc holidayssss

8) Do you want any piercings? yeah I lowkey want a nose piercing

9)how do you sleep? badly haha my cycle is non existent, but idk like on my side?? depends

10)dream job? volunteering abroad to help people and getting to see the world at the same time

11)favourite quote? To love, to be loved. To never forget your own insignifcance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest of places. To persue beauty into it’s lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, not power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.   -Arundhati Roy

1. what is the first band you remember getting ~into~? snow patrol and green day when I was a kid I’d play them off my dad’s ipod and jump up and down on the bed hahah

2. most recent artist/band you’ve been obsessed with? waterparks

3. do you have any cool “party tricks”? i can vibrate my eyes and i can thow stuff really high and catch it in my mouth like mints and stuff

4. are you homeschooled or do you go to public school or maybe have you graduated yet? public school (the english kind, some places say private and public the other way for school I think??) and i’m in sixth form

5. top 5 favorite people in the world? yikes. my dog, my sister even tho she annoys me, my friends can have the rest of the spaces lol

6. do you have pets? if so what kind and how many? my dog xx

7. would you like to have children some day? if so, would you adopt/foster? no kids for me but I aprove of adoption sm like why keep adding kids to the world when there are already ones that need a family

8. what’s your favorite meme? all of them I just spent like half an hour looking at memes trying to chose but I can’t

9. favorite book? ahhhhhhhhh! harry potter is always going to win but the raven cycle is also a fab series would really reccomend

10. what would you like to be doing right now if time/money/age/energy weren’t an issue? volunteering and traveling the world

11. what do you do in your free time? sleep honestly

1.Do you have any pets? ya my dog

2. Favorite youtuber? don’t really have one whoops

3. What is your favorite thing about yourself? idk sense of humour maybe

4. Do you remind yourself that you’re gorgeous? (If not, you should.) nope, sometimes tho i’m like ‘gal if you put in some effort to like anything you’d be a badass unstoppable bitch’

5. Have you had your first kiss? no and its getting a little tragic at this point

6. If you have kids, what would you name them? mistake lmaooo, just kidding idk tbh maybe aara for a girl and isaac for a boy

7. Favorite place? the beach not that i live near one

8. Dream concert? like a week long festival with all my favourite bands

9. One person you can’t live without? no one suck it

10. Do you have any siblings? my sister

11. What color are your eyes? blue / lil bit of grey

1. What was the last concert you went to? blink 182

2. Star Wars of Star Trek? don’t really have a strong opinion on it but star wars is the only one I’ve seen properly

3. Do you believe in a higher power, religious or spiritual? nope

4. What’s your favourite kind of flower? hmmm maybe roses 5. If you had one day left to live, what would you eat? everything, chips, pizza, lasagne, pasta, a load of ben and jerry’s, cookies, all the food

6. Where do you usually wear perfume? Behind the knees? Neck? Ears? neck

7. How long doe it usually take for you to get ready in the morning? for school like 20 minutes

8. Are you wearing any jewellery right now? nope

9. Is there a band/artist you can’t stop listening to, even though it’s embarrassing to admit? nah not really ??

10. What methods do you use to calm down after being angry or upset? plotting revenge without actually doing it or music

11. What’s your favourite kind of weather? thunder storms or sun

whoops does answering extra questions mean I don’t have to make any up??

[oxidation-corundum-archive-blog]

Two Weeks Ago...

Oxidation-Corundum turned 1.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude for anyone that’s followed, liked, or even shared my content. I’ve been working at this for a while, now: writing roleplays, growing my characters with others, having fun along the way...

All I can really say is thank you.

...

But that’s a lie, and all of us know it.

Here’s some shoutouts to a whole lotta people under the Read More.

First and foremost, @siblingfaunus. While things’ve been a little rocky as of late, I’ll never forget the kindness that you’ve shown me: you’re a fantastic writer, Ebony and Obsidian Ishikawa remain to be one of my favorite OCs that I’ve interacted with, and you truly exemplify the qualities of a true friend beyond comparison. Thank you. My only wish is that I could be half a good a friend to anyone as you are to me.

Second, @chainlightniing / @howlfortheknight / @somerichkid. I wish I could project this onto a goddamn megaphone and have it be mandatory listening for a year: follow this person. This person deserves so much. Her OCs are all fantastic, she does a stellar job of causing my heart to be torn in two GODDDAMNIT STAR making sure that the balance of power is always there in roleplaying, and while I can only do so much to help you, I wish I could do more. You’re a damn good roleplayer and an even better friend, Star. Never let yourself believe otherwise. Thank you.

@achillca / @khiicne. A wicked cultured lass, you are; you always find some way to inject your studies and passions into your roleplaying, and you truly do feel like Pyrrha in real life (and I mean that in the best way possible; seriously, if I had to give you a dollar for every time I saw you type a swear and immediately imagined Pyrrha saying said swear, your college tuition would be a thing of the past). I’m so grateful to have you as a roleplay partner and a close friend, Dev. Thank you.

@jaune-refaire-arc. You have one character, and go through the motions with that character very, very well: quality over quantity is your game, and you play it. Your Jaune is beloved by so many, as he should be; I truly feel like I’m talking to the blonde haired doofus when interacting with him, and while it’s been a while since we’ve done anything super large, I can’t wait to see what you come up with next. Thank you, Nate. Keep doing you, and never let anyone stop this beautiful train you’re riding on. #BlobjobsAllDay.

@team-lpis-livia. While we haven’t done too much, I’m always grateful for your patience: the little lightning bug you’ve raised has been nothing but a pleasure to interact with, and I eagerly await to see what adventures she goes on with CRUST and the rest. You’re nothing but a pleasure to interact with OOC when we get to talk, and I do hope things are alright! Thank you! Next we meet, I pray it’s with a smile.

@cpring / @elucive / @tubefullofcorgi. While I know you’re busy with real life stuff and you haven’t been around nearly as much as you’d like, that’s okay! I always look forward to your getting on and us talking about...whatever, really! Serious stuff, lighthearted stuff, SHIPPING SO MUCH SHIPPING, you’re nothing but good to be around! While I haven’t done much with the little maiden lass yes, I know that Ivory and Zwei are both great to interact with, and when you’ve got the time and energy to spare, I can’t wait to craft more tales with you. I’m grateful to be writing with you, grateful that you’ve stuck around. Thank you, Jess.

@xgorgaux. Over the year, I’ve seen a little bit more of Euryale; we haven’t done much, but I’ve seen you pop up in my memes now and again, and every time, I get a small smile on my face. It’s nice to be appreciated, y’know? I’ll make it up to you one day...you deserve more love. You’ve been one of the first OC blogs that’s followed me, and I regret not having done more with you sooner. Thank you, Dez; you’ve been here since nearly the very beginning, and I can’t be more grateful.

@blondiethepunmaster. We haven’t done too much in the way of actual Tumblr roleplaying, but oh MAN, Skype has a lot. When you get less busy (and I have faith that you will, one day), I can’t wait to write more with you; whether it’s the team you’ve got in your head or the punmaster I’ve known you for. Thank you, Livia. We’ll get back on beat one day, and our harmonies will resound! Keep natural, stay sharp-tongued! Music pun!

@ms-belladone. While I’ve only known you for...what, a week? I find you great company; a friend of a friend is a friend, as they say...and I’m glad to call you my friend. You’ve been nothing but loyal so far, and while I can’t pay you in gold or silver...all I have are my words. Thank you, Mitch. I wish I can say something like “Your loyalty will be rewarded with time...” or something ominous, but...well, you’ll just have to take my thanks in the meanwhile. Mi dispiace.

@aslxn. Formerly a team of RWBY’s older brothers (which I still like the ideas you had out there, by the way), now you play Arslan, a sorely underplayed character with a whole lotta gusto! I’ve yet to do too much with your writing in general, and I pray that that’ll change one day, with a bit of effort. Thank you, Lex. You’ve been here through good times and bad, and one day, I’ll repay the favor. Keep Yangin’ on.

@velvet-material / @lovlylance27. While we haven’t talked nearly as much as we have back in the early days (and I blame my own forgetfulness for that), I do miss what good times we had! Being able to write with you was a pleasure, even if I was still discovering my characters through the time we did (and even if it was just Chrom and Velvet stuff; whoops). One day, we’ll get to writing stuff for real, if things lighten up on your end. Thank you, old friend. I hope that things are well.

@jolisorciere / @cutthroatheels. Like some others, we haven’t done too much; but you’ve been busy, and life’s happened, and it’s alright! I always appreciate you comin’ back, lookin’ at our stuff, and givin’ it your all...and I also appreciate your choice of muses! Glynda and Melanie (of all characters) are super different from each other, and you play both really well! Can’t wait for when we next do things. Thank you, Penny! You’ve never nickel and dimed me out of a roleplay, and...honestly, I just wanted to make that pun. I’m sorry.

@prcdigaldaughter. You were one of the first Weisses to really interact with me, and for that, I’m eternally grateful; we struck a chord early on, and while we haven’t done anything in a long time, I’ll always appreciate what you have done for me. Thank you, Alex. You helped me become who I am; I hope our friendship will continue to burn brightly.

@teamorcd. ORCD is a super fleshed out team of four that I found through, if I recall correctly, basically blind luck? For once, something goes my way: I found a friend, a great roleplay partner, and four characters that I will hold in my heart for quite some time. Thank you, Sabi. Your OCs are always a delight to be around, and I look forward to doing more with them (and you)!

I also want to give a bunch of shoutouts to people that support me or have been interested in my roleplays, or people I’ve even just met, so...here we go.

@velveteen-faunus (AND ALL YOUR OTHER BLOGS, HOLY HELL), @acoupleofbravedorks, @littlesuncat, @like-a-hummingbird, @vi-helleborus, @rujiba / @silvcrclawed, @drroisin, @teamarscandfriends, @fightqueen18, @iironhearted / @aqucphobia, @nightmare-fantasia, @oceanxcbeauty, @criimsonwolf, @graeaegladiator, and @ask-skylark.

Finally...I want to thank one last person. I know this is going to sound self-indulgent, but...I want to thank myself.

I’ve grown. I’ve watched me change. A year ago, I didn’t have the smoothest of reception into the RWBY community...I thought my ideas were garbage because of the people I had met. But then I met all of you, who pushed me to create more and flesh things out. And through you, I began to change, too: and now, I’m starting to learn what it means to love myself. Even if it’s difficult, and I can’t always convince myself that what my depression thinks is wrong on my own...or even with help, I’m slowly and surely making progress.

Thank you, me. You’ve rode it out for a year and two weeks. You’ll make more friends, you’ll strengthen your bonds between existing ones. You’re stronger than you think you are.

And thank you, everyone. Without all of you, I wouldn’t be here; not even close. I’d still probably be telling myself my ideas aren’t worth the light of day, but you’ve all proven me wrong. You’re living proof that what I create can be recognized.

Here’s to another year. Let’s keep the tempo up.

-Samuel Kim, musician, writer, moderator for Oxidation-Corundum.

[maggiecheungs]

i was tagged by kylie @wjmild, cata @kittychicha, quan @billkinsdancing, lara @atotsphutian, juliette @ahysopae thank youuuu love you alllll mwah mwah

1. why did you choose your url?

it’s a reference to the main character of one of my favourite books, mademoiselle de maupin by theophile gautier (a very gay and very overdramatic french novel from 1835, help 😭). i’ve considered changing it to something lakorn-related (i have a few ideas) but i’m so attached to serannes i don’t know if i ever could. but... maybe? idk i’m indecisive 😫

2. any sideblogs?

skfhjadskfhkdfgk can you imagine me trying to work out how to manage a sideblog?

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

mentally? since i was about twelve. actually? around fifteen months

4. do you have a queue tag?

#queue bc i’m boring (actually i wanted to do a pun but all the ones i had in mind were waaay too pretentious and too laborious to type out on the regular)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i have a twitter acc but that’s where everyone i know irl follows me

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

maybe i have a massive crush on priya sangkhachinda, mind your own business 💞💞

7. why did you choose your header?

see above 💞💞 plus i loved that photoshoot (also, the other person in the photos is primrose chindavanich, whom i have maybe possibly also recently developed a crush on. yes i know, sue me.)

8. whats your post with the most notes?

i think it’s this atots textposts one? i might be wrong though idk how to check

9. how many mutuals do you have?  

noooo idea, i can never keep track of who’s a sideblog or not

10. how many followers do you have?

way more than i thought i’d ever have when i started this thing lol (but still not a particularly large number, thank god)

11. how many people do you follow?

around 450 i think? i know i only really blog about asian (mainly thai) dramas, but i’m technically a multifandom blog and i follow people from a bunch of wildly different fandoms. some of them you might be able to guess. some of them i will never ever reveal 😘

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

no. all of my posts are 110% serious. actually i think people who make shitposts are the scourge of society and should be uniformly expunged from this site thb. whenever someone i follow makes a shitpost i immediately block them, add their url to a blocklist that i circulate among my remaining mutuals, and report them to tumblr staff

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

more than i probably should 😳 i try to stay off when i have a deadline, but i'm rarely successful tbh

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

did you mean: every interaction i have with @ataleofthousandstars? nope i am the least confrontational person you will ever meet

15. how do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

if i’d have reblogged it anyway, then i’ll probably reblog. if it’s something i wouldn’t normally reblog, then i won’t.

16. do you like tag games?

yep! being tagged in makes me smile and i like seeing people’s answers. i often forget to do them myself though dsfhskhjk

17. do you like ask games?

yes if it’s a good one (but it usually takes me ages to respond whoops)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

honestly i think i have a few who are probably quite well-known within the thai drama fandom? but tbh one of the reasons i like tumblr so much is because i feel like ‘fame’ doesn’t really exist in the same way on here. this whole site is designed to keep us humble

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i mean, i am Actually Completely In Love with my Actual Wife and Love of My Life @tichawongtipkanon but if you want to describe that soul-deep lifetime bond as a mere crush then who am i to stop you?

20. tags? i have no clue who’s done this yet but @jiang-yanlis @transking @itoldsunset @tichawongtipkanon @thanaerngs @tantawans @itoldconcreteaboutyou @teh-ohaew @sijipavilion @fushiguroo @curlykytta @musicdramalove (if all of you have been tagged before no you haven’t <3)

[phans-secret-blog]

Rules: answer all the questions, add one of your own and tag as many people as there are questions (no)

1. coke or pepsi? coke

2. disney or dreamworks? disney

3. coffee or tea? tea

4. books or movies? if we’re talking HP, definitely books. I usually prefer the original books, but I do prefer movies if they aren’t based on anything. (coraline movie is way better than the book though)

5. windows or mac? windows, because I don’t think I’ve ever even seen a mac irl

6. dc or marvel? and the difference is??

7. xbox or playstation? xbox

8. dragon age or mass effect? dragon age, definitely

9. night owl or early riser? have you met me? what even is going to bed early.

10. cards or chess? cards bc I suck at chess

11. chocolate or vanilla? vanilla ice cream

12. vans or converse? converse

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar? ..... what

14. fluff or angst? fluffy angst

15. beach or forest? forest

16. dogs or cats? cats!

17. clear skies or rain? RAIN

18. cooking or eating out? eating out ;))))) (im sorry i just really love restaurants i know so bad of me)

19. spicy food or mild food? spicy is alright but mild

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? halloween

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? a little too cold. I mean, I live in Australia, I don’t want more heat

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be? the power to end things. end my inability to fly. end my inability to shapeshift. fight me.

23. animation or live action? depends tbh. mostly animation. @ disney you wanna know why? because animators usually try to keep the race the same :)

24. paragon or renegade? what

25. baths or showers? baths

26. team cap or team ironman? how about neither

27. fantasy or sci-fi? fantasy definitely

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so, what are they? not really. mostly just anything from tv shows I watch.

29. youtube or netflix? youtube

30. harry potter or percy jackson? harry potter because i havent seen/read PJ

31. when do you feel accomplished? when I finish a big writing project

32. star wars or star trek? how about I hate sci-fi and haven’t seen anything about either of them

33. paperback or hardback books? hardback

34. horror or rom-com? horror.

35. tv shows or movies? tv shows

36. favourite animal? cats I guess

37. favourite genre of music? honestly I have no fucking clue it changes all the time

38. least favourite book? we crawl through it. that book fucked me up. what the fuck. why did i read that. what was even going on. i don’t remember what it was about because ive repressed the memory of it so much.

39. favourite season? spring. my immediate family all have their birthdays in spring so every three days it’s just cake.

40. song that’s currently stuck in your head? here we go again - Sincerely, Me. I’ve answered that like fifty times smh

41. what kind of pyjama’s do you wear? nightie or shirt and long pants

42. how many existential crises do you have on an average day? depends how I’ve been feeling lately. sometimes one-two during the day and a big one at night or only like once a month haha

43. if you can only choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be? Lost Boy by Troye Sivan.

44. favourite theme song to a TV show? Riverdale

45. harry potter movies or books? mostly the books apart from the last one because,,,,,,, l o n g

46. you can make your OTP become canon but you’ll forget that tumblr exists. will you do it? nah, I need to freak out with people

47. do you play an instrument and if so, what is it? yes, very badly. piano.

48. what is the worst way to die? drowning. anything to do with suffocating, I guess.

my question, 49. if you could be entirely invisible for a day, what would you do? listen to what people are saying because I’m Nosy (TM) and also very insecure about what my friends think

Tagging: @jamesisagiantpeach (seriously you’re like the only person I feel alright in tagging whoops)

[drfranklangdon]

☼ Underneath The Same Sun ☼

Chapter two y’all !! It’s time to get real. Once again, this is inspired by the amazing @t0ziers​. Mel wrote their own fic, and I highly recommend you check it out !! Also, this got real long. So I think I’m going to need to do a chapter three. Otherwise, this would actually be a novel. Whoops!! I think three would be a perfect sum of the story, but we shall see.  Hope y’all like it !!

✧ Chapter One ✧ Chapter Two ✧ Chapter Three

Words ;; 3,122 ･ﾟ Pairing ;; Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak  & some sprinkles of Stan Uris / Bill Denbrough (It)  ･ﾟ Warnings ;; ANGST BOYS, strong language, plenty of penis talk, and some 18 y/o boys phone sexing it up

❝ — Eddie Kaspbrak was Richie’s first ever boyfriend. In the past, any relationship the trashmouth had was simply a hookup or summer fling. Nothing remarkably close to how he felt now. Even though they still have yet to touch, Richie knew he was in love. His soulmate might be 2,806.6 miles away, but he’d be damned if he let that effect their now two month long relationship.

The boys were constantly messaging one another. They gave each other play by plays of their day in such detail that Richie felt like he too was freezing his ass off in New York.  Richie had limited minutes when it came to texting, but UCLA had free wifi, so Tumblr was their best way of keeping in touch. That meant that Richie’s face was now permanently glued to his screen. 

↪ trxshmouth - Send Nudes ?

↪ pastelgazebo - Richie It’s 2am !!

↪ trxshmouth -  you’re roommates must be asleep

↪ trxshmouth - more of a reason for you to send nudes 

↪ trxhsmouth - ;)

↪ pastelgazebo - Richie, I’m not going to do that. We’ve discussed this. I’m just not comfortable yet. I will be soon. I swear. I just need time.

↪ trxshmouth - [ Attached Image ]

↪ pastelgazebo - Richie I am literally  a couple of feet away from Mike and Ben !! You can’t do this to me again !!

↪ trxshmouth  - [ Attached Image ]

↪ pastelgazebo - BEEP BEEP

↪ trxshmouth -  [ Attached Image ]

↪ pastelgazebo -OMG STOP !!  I’m going to have a fucking asthma attack !!

“Must you do this right in front of us, Richie ?!” Stan was standing in the doorway of the dorm, staring down his roommate, who in one hand was holding out the fabric of his boxers and the other taking a picture of the contents. Richie honestly didn’t see Bill and Stan walk in, but it wasn’t like it mattered. He’d do it in front of them anyway. Bill wasn’t the biggest fan of his own roommate, so he practically all but moved into casa Uris/Tozier a few weeks back.

“Privacy went way out the door when Big Bill began using this dorm like a nudist colony, Stanley” The boy took his huge duvet and pulled it over his aroused state. “Not all of us live in the same state as our boyfriends, and it’s a little rude to call me out for my and Eddie’s long distance predicament.” Bill was cracking a smile now. He always did find Richie to be funny. Even if he often took it too far. He immediately saw Richie’s appeal when he began dating Stan. They bickered, and fought like a married couple, but they really cared for each other, Bill thought it was adorable. “And after I reinstated you as my best friend...tsk tsk Stan the Man.”

“I did not ask for this. Believe me. I was happy when you gave my title away. And what did I tell you about that dumb nickname. It was one time, Trashmouth. And he wasn’t even fully naked.” Stan and Bill were now sitting next to each other on the opposite bed, holding hands, their phones in the others.

“Actually I saw him come out of the shower last week.” Richie was smirking and when Stan shot his boyfriend a look all the boy could do was shrug. “It’s not my fault there is not enough fabric in the world to cover up your boyfriend’s massive penis, Stanley. You really should just embrace it.”

“I hate you both !”

“You love me.” Richie retorted, sticking his tongue out to the other and his boyfriend, before falling over on his side and getting right back to messaging Eddie and scrolling through his dash.

“You fucking wish, Tozier, you fucking wish.” But Stan was smiling, giving Bill a shove for his lack of input on the conversation.

❝ — Richie and Eddie had now been an item for around three months. They helped one another study and proofread essays for each other. They skyped everyday - sometimes for hours and hours, talking about anything and everything. Richie always woke up to a  ‘good morning’ message from Eddie and a ‘good night, babe’ before he went to bed. Everything seemed to be a mirror to their previous friendship. Just labeled with a different title. It hurt that Richie couldn’t take Eddie out on a proper date. He wanted to go see a scary movie with his boyfriend. He wanted to pay for the tickets and hold the smaller boy’s hand as some killer scared the audience. He wouldn’t jump though, because he would be too transfixed with rubbing his thumb on Eddie’s soft recently sanitized hands. He craved to lean over and make out with the the boy while the plot finished up on the projector and the credits began to roll. He wished they were too wound up with each other to see the theater was now empty and some pimple covered worker was trying to get their attention to leave - so he could clean up the popcorn covered floor. They would stumble out of the cinema, a tangle of limbs, until they huddled in the back of Richie’s car and finished what they started in the closing act of ‘Scream 54.′It wasn’t too much to ask for from your boyfriend. But those 2,000 miles that separated them made their love a little hard to maintain. And that tore Richie up inside.

It was now their official three month anniversary. An Eddie had promised Richie a very special present for the occasion. He was awoken with a message: ‘↪ pastelgazebo - Good Morning, babe !! Tonight I’m ready.’ Richie nearly popped a boner right then and there. He breakfast club style fist pumped the air. “Mazel Tov to me !! Tonight I become a man !!”

“Shut up Richie.” Stan and Bill chimed in unison from their usual spooning position across the dorm. Stan would’ve thrown his pillow at his roommate, but he learned from experience it didn’t change anything. And it was just a waste of a pillow.

Eddie got Mike and Ben to evacuate their room. Stan took Bill out to some GSA club event and the two boys were finally able to get their privacy. Richie of course wanted to Skype so he could see his boyfriend’s gorgeous face as he pleased himself. The thought alone was making Richie unable to concentrate on anything else all day. But Eddie was cautious and they settled on just good ol’ phone sex. Richie sat in his boxer-briefs (The ones Bill highly recommended, but cracked that Richie wouldn’t quite be able to fill them out like he did. Richie was too proud to even be mad at the statement. ) They were both nervous. Eddie was a virgin and Richie had never sexed through the phone before. So the call was quiet for a solid minute. They two boys lying down on their beds on either coast of the country, debating on how to start the whole ordeal. “What are you wearing ??” Richie finally decided on to break the silence. 

His eyes were closed to help picture Eddie’s description. “I’m naked. Aren’t you ??” Richie bit at his lip. His boyfriend never ceased to amaze him. Just when he thought Eddie was this little, nervous, innocent boy - He would sweep Richie off his feet. “Where are we, in the fantasy I mean ??”

The two stumbled around on technicalities for a little while. Eddie would correct Richie on the fact that in their current fantasy state Richie would have three hands or they would forget who was on top at the moment. But after a little while, those minor details seemed to be moot. Once the boys got going - nothing seemed to exist except for them. Richie was so lost in the fantasy, he swore he could feel Eddie’s breath on his neck and his nimble fingers pulling on his hair. Word’s alone got the thought that Richie wasn’t holding onto to himself, but Eddie’s hands or mouth was around his hard-on instead. Eds was gasping on the other end and it was making Richie’s insides come undone. The slight muffled moans through the phone were driving the boy crazy. He flipped over to bury his face into his pillow - no longer able to form actual words. The sounds Eddie were making were caused Richie to forget how to properly function. He was a mess of thrusting down into his hand and gripping onto the phone as if it were his boyfriend’s hand. At the end of it all, Richie was just tickling his pickle like he usually did. It was standard procedure when your boyfriend lived so far away. But with Eddie in his ear - everything felt super charged. It felt so real. It honestly felt better than any physical sex he had with a past partner. At some point he forgot about the fantasy they built, and Richie just focused on the fact that somewhere in New York City, his boyfriend was pleasuring himself thinking about him. It was unbelievable, almost. He couldn’t believe he was so lucky to have such an amazing partner. It was driving him wild. So wild, he ended up finishing far before Eddie. He stayed face leaned on the phone and pillow, just listening to Eddie take care of himself, the largest smile he could possibly fathom plastered on his face. Eddie called out his name when he was done and Richie almost proposed it sounded so beautiful.

After ; the same awkward silence from before returned. The two sat just breathing into the speaker of their phones, waiting for the other to speak up. Eddie took over that job. And right before he spoke, Rich could of sworn he heard him take a hit of his inhaler. “So - that was nice.”

“Eds, my dear. That was fucking fantastic.”

❝ — Classes and roommates ended up messing with the boys future attempts to repeat what they did on their anniversary three weeks ago. He was pretty hungover after Bill’s birthday party last night. Not having Eddie there was pretty hard for the boy. He usually drank, but decided getting wasted was a much better option. It helped make up for the three week long blue balls stent he was going through at the moment. After their anniversary, doing it fully alone just wasn’t enough. Nothing could come close to how good he felt that night. But Richie figured a combination of rum and weed would work for a little. Around 4am, Stan had to drag a very plastered Bill and Richie up three flights of stairs - complaining the entire time, of course. They all passed out and Richie was lucky enough to have the earliest class out of the three. It was 7am, and Richie was dosing off at his tiny desk.

But the notification pop up on his phone was enough to wake the boy up . It was a snapchat from Eddie. Most of his boyfriend’s snaps were blurry pictures of himself or some screenshot of an inside joke. So Richie thought nothing of opening it in the lecture hall. “What the fuck.” He nearly fell out of his seat, only a few people looking back at him after he whispered to himself. He didn’t even notice. How could he when instead of some fuzzy picture of math notes, Richie was looking at a beautifully framed mirror shot of his boyfriend’s bare chest, briefs pulled down, with his dick in hand. The small text on the top of the snap read ‘Fourth month anniversary soon!’ As soon as the actual work of art was there, it was gone. Richie replayed it and screenshotted it. Having a feeling he would never get another snap like that from Eds again.

The lecture ended and Richie nearly sprinted to bathroom to repay the favor. Since they started dating, the dick picks had always been one-sided. Richie didn’t mind, really. Sure he teased his boyfriend about sending him nudes all the time. But only because he thought he would never get them. Richie couldn’t stop looking at the photo. It was glorious. But he knew that Bill and Stan went through his phone all the time. They would clog up his camera roll anytime he left his phone unintended. And Richie was not going to let his friends see Eddie like that. No way. But he couldn’t just delete this once in a lifetime opportunity. He decided to draft the picture to his tumblr and then delete it. He could always look back on it this way. Plus see it on even bigger screen when given the chance. The only problem was that he didn’t draft the snapchat. Too giddy over the days events added with his insane hangover, the trashmouth accidentally queued the post instead. It ended up posting midnight California time.

Richie was awoken by ping after ping on his phone. Tumblr messages from his followers asking if it was real and hundreds of reblogs of some photo Richie had posted. But the worst was a text, not a message, but an actual text from Eddie. ‘SKYPE ME NOW!!’ That was twenty minutes ago. The brunette boy was so confused to what was going on, he threw his phone to the side of the bed and quickly flipped open his mac to skype Eddie. As it rang, he fished for his glasses and put them on. Now not blind, he was able to see the boy answer. Eddie’s cheeks were stained with tears, a consoling Bev standing behind the common room chair Eddie was sitting in. Stan and Bill were still asleep - also out of the loop of the night that just occurred. “Eds. What’s wrong ??”

“Don’t fucking call me that, Richie. Why the fuck would you do that ?! For fucking what, FAME ?! A JOKE ?! What would ever make you think that was okay ?! I just - I just wanted to be a good boyfriend and make you happy. Fuck !! What was I thinking !?”

“Eds - Eddie - I have no clue what you are talking about ?? I just woke up. Just calm down. Speak to me. We’ll get through this.” Richie was wracking his mind to what he could of done. But he had no idea.

“Check your fucking phone, asshole.” That was the first time Richie had heard Bev’s voice. Although it was distant, it felt like a punch to the face. Richie grabbed his phone and opened the tumblr app to see were all the reblogs where from. His hands shook so much he dropped the phone into his lap.

He looked up at the screen, tears of his own forming on his waterline. “Eddie - I had no idea. I swear I meant to draft that -”

Eddie cut him off, choking on his own anger. “ Delete it !! Delete it now !!” He was livid, sucking into his inhaler and matching Richie in the shakes. Richie deleted the original post - but didn’t know what else to say. He just stared at his boyfriend through the screen. “What if my mom saw, Richie ?! She doesn’t know I’m dating you - or that I’m having sex or whatever. She doesn’t know my tumblr. She’s going to kill me !! She’s going to make me drop out !!” Richie wanted to interject with the fact that maybe no one saw it. But the post already had 3,000 notes. Pings were still going off in Richie’s hand. It didn’t matter that the original was gone. It was out there. People could of saved it, re-uploaded. No matter what, it wasn’t going away. “This is so fucked !!”

“Eddie. This was a huge accident. I swear I didn’t mean to do this to you. I would never do this to you.” He was sobbing now. Liquid flying down his freckled cheeks as he weeped. Bev was shaking her head in the background and now Bill and Stan were awake and looking across the room to Richie. Both had there phones in their hands. They knew.

“People are messaging me on tumblr, Rich. They’re calling me a slut,a whore. I don’t even know what a thot is - but I assume it’s not good!! All because they know we’re dating through you. I wanted to keep our relationship private. But you had to go and talk about it on your dumb blog.” People loved how adorable Eddie and Richie were. He sometimes would get anons asking how their skype dates went or comments about how cute they were when Richie posted photos of Eddie to his blog. People were invested in some retired viner’s long distance relationship because it was 2017 and apparently this is what the world is like now.

“Eddie - I don’t know what to say. I can’t - I didn’t even think this would happen....I just...At least your face isn’t in it ?? Right ??” He sighed, not being able to see through his tear blurred eyes anymore. But he didn’t need to see. Eddie was hysterical. Choking on his own sobbing, taking hits from his inhaler every few seconds. He was falling apart and it was impossible not to blame him. “I promise we will get through this. A couple weeks from now - people will forget this ever happened and we can move on. We might even look back when we’re old and gray and laugh at it. Right ?? ‘Ha. Remember when I uploaded your dick to tumblr, Eds ?? Ha. Wasn’t that hilarious - Right, Eds ??”

“Don’t fucking call me that !! - You know what ?? Don’t fucking call at all !! I never want to hear from your trashmouth ever again !!” Eddie slammed his laptop closed and the call dropped. Richie’s head fell into his hands, loud cries muffled through his fingers filled the dead air in the dorm. All he wanted to do was savor in his boyfriend’s beauty. He thought he was protecting Eddie from anyone seeing the picture. He thought he was doing the right thing. But Richie Tozier was nothing but a fuck up. His parents made that very clear to him. Someone so amazing like Eddie didn’t deserve such a fuck up like Richie. He should of saw it coming. He should of been able to see that the best thing to ever happened to him wouldn’t last. Maybe he just deserved to be alone. This way he couldn’t fuck up anyone else’s life.

I’m going to tag all the people who asked for this chapter. Hope that’s cool - I don’t really know the protocol and I don’t want to leave anyone out. Also let me know if you want to be tagged in chapter three !! @my-son-richie-tozier ​ @liohprincexx @rememberingtozier @lukemybieber @cupcakeatl @richie-n-eds @im-not-psychotic @dianathehorrible @fangirl-and-proud4 @aestheticlly-indie @makelovegood